


Real Fake Real Love

by Keithers



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: But eventually a real one, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Kenma finds it hard to articulate his feelings, Kuroo finds it hard to express his in a good way, M/M, No beta oops, not as deep as it sounds just a little fake dating au, slowburn, they've loved each other a long time
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-02
Updated: 2020-08-02
Packaged: 2021-03-06 03:28:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,492
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25676599
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Keithers/pseuds/Keithers
Summary: "I've been lying to them. For the past few months. I told them.." he sighed, "I told them I was dating someone. They haven't been the most open to the whole bisexual thing.. but they haven't been rude, either. So I figured it wouldn't matter. I could just find someone and they'd think it was them I was talking about and everything would be fine. Except.. I haven't found anyone. And we're going on our annual summer beach trip in two weeks. So I was hoping, as my closest friend, and bestie, maybe you-""Pass." Kenma scrunched his nose, shaking his head a little when Kuroo's mouth fell open. "You want me to pretend to be your boyfriend, right? Wouldn't it be weird?"Aka: the one in which they realize they were just too stupid to see they've had feelings the whole time.
Relationships: Kozume Kenma/Kuroo Tetsurou
Comments: 10
Kudos: 204





	Real Fake Real Love

**Author's Note:**

> Little warning: There are some brief mentions of drinking and sex while drunk, despite being very nondescript. I also marked this for teens and up (pg13) because I swear a lot and my writing is not exempt from it. Otherwise, enjoy!

Kuroo looked desperate, he knew he did. Because he was. The situation was weird, awkward, but at least this was someone he could be desperate in front of without worrying he'd be teased or laughed at. Kenma was his best friend, always had been. And Kuroo was pretty sure Kenma was too passive to make fun anyways. 

"Explain the situation again," Kenma looked up from his game, "I wasn't listening." 

Kuroo had learned a long time ago the importance of patience. Despite what other people may think- their friendship wasn't a one way street. Maybe some people just couldn't see it. Kuro took care of Kenma a lot, sure- took away his games during meals so he'd actually eat, watch out for him when they were in school and encourage him in everything he did, support him- but that wasn't all their friendship was. Kenma took care of Kuroo in more private, personal ways. When it was just them. The little things, that others wouldn't necessarily notice. Tossing a blanket at Kuroo to see if he was up when they had sleepovers, and gently tucking him in if he thought Kuroo was asleep. Pushing a water into Kuroo's hands during meals or after games, pausing his game when he sensed Kuroo needed something or something was off. Or, like now, when he saved his game and turned his handheld off. 

"Well, it's been a year now since I've graduated, and my family.. is a little expectant." Kuroo combed a hand through his hair, black bangs briefly sweeping from the eye they usually covered. "I've been lying to them. For the past few months. I told them.." he sighed, "I told them I was dating someone. They haven't been the most open to the whole bisexual thing.. but they haven't been rude, either. So I figured it wouldn't matter. I could just find someone and they'd think it was them I was talking about and everything would be fine. Except.. I haven't found anyone. And we're going on our annual summer beach trip in two weeks. So I was hoping, as my closest friend, and bestie, maybe you-" 

"Pass." Kenma scrunched his nose, shaking his head a little when Kuroo's mouth fell open. "You want me to pretend to be your boyfriend, right? You know I'm not good with relationships, Kuro. I doubt I'd be a believable date, and even if I was.." he sighed, "we're friends. Wouldn't it be weird? We'd have to do couple-y things." 

Kuroo was absolutely dismayed, not for the first time, at Kenma's ability to show absolutely no emotion in his expression. Kuroo wore his heart on his sleeve, and even after knowing Kenma for most of his life, it was still difficult to gauge just how off-board he was with this idea and how easy it would be to bribe him. 

"C'mon, Kenma! Please? You just graduated, don't you want a free vacation to celebrate? Plus, my family already knows you! They aren't gonna expect us to be affectionate and gross and couple-y, they know you don't enjoy things like that." Kuro tried to bat his eyes, to tempt Kenma, though he highly doubted it was going to work. 

Kenma rolled his eyes. "I guess that's fair, but why can't you just tell them you lied? Or that you broke up?" 

"I already lied and told them my significant other was excited to go with us! I can't just tell them I've been lying this whole time, what will they think of me?" 

Kenma tapped his fingertips on the table a few times, before he sighed and his shoulders slouched and Kuroo was 85% sure Kenma was actually considering it. "How long is the trip? Please tell me it's shorter this year." 

Kuroo laughed, nervous, "Actually it's ah.. a month and a week. They made it longer because they want to have more time to get to know my Jane Doe." 

"A month?" 

"And a week." 

Kenma shook his head. "Nope, no way. Your family is way too.. nice. And personal. I'm not a personal kind of person. They've been very good to me and I appreciate that but they're too.. draining, to be around for so long." He'd been surprised that being around Kuroo wasn't draining for him. But that didn't extend to Kuroo's family. "Plus, I get income from streaming, that's a long break to take, Kuro." 

Kuroo pouted, "Please? Come on, you can still stream at the hotel! It's not like we'll be around them 24/7, I'll make sure we get time to separate from the group so you can have space! I'll even buy you a new game, any you want." 

Kenma paused, looking interested for the first time since Kuro had come into his new apartment and sat himself on his bed to get Kenma's attention from where he was curled up against the headboard. "Two games and a new case for my DS?" 

Kuroo's eyes widened, and he flashed Kenma a grin, "yeah, of course! Please? Any games you want, and the case thingy, yeah!" 

Kenma sighed, and folded his hands together. "I can't believe I'm saying this, but.. fine. If you're sure there will be chances to be alone and time to stream at least during the weekdays." 

"Yes! Thank you, Kenma!" Kuroo beamed, before laughing and cocking his head, "or should I call you kareshi?" 

"Shut up, asshole," Kenma stuck out his tongue, and kicked Kuroo in the chest when he tried to come in for a hug, but the blush on his usually so stoic face was worth it. 

Kuroo backed off despite his wicked grin, and stood to tug off his jacket and toss it onto the back of Kenma's gaming chair. Kuroo was aware of that gaming setup being the one thing Kenma really cared about bringing with him when he moved out of his parents' place, just a month ago. That was fair, considering it was his main source of income, other than a part-time job he hated. He was pretty sure Kenma could get popular enough to make streaming and gaming his full-time job, though, especially after placing highly in a competition just last year. "Mind if I crash here tonight? It's late, I'm too worried to drive home now," Kuro dramatically fanned his hand over his forehead, and fell back into Kenma's bed with a sigh. 

"Yes, I do mind, go away," Kenma stuck his tongue out, picking his game back up and forcing his cold feet under Kuroo's side. 

"Thanks, puddin' head." Kuroo cooed, lightly pinching Kenma's leg in retaliation before turning to press his face into one of the pillows. "Night, Kenma~" 

Kenma, unsurprisingly, didn't respond. He stayed up just a few more hours, since his handheld was low on battery, and after hurrying to plug it in, and saving his progress, he chuckled a pillow at Kuroo's side to see if he was up. When there was no response, he huffed and yanked the blanket up and over him. "Stupid, you'll be cold. No wonder Hinata calls you Rooster-Head." He still took the time to gently pet back Kuroo's bangs, though, before he settled into bed beside him to try and get some sleep. 

In the few weeks leading up to the trip, Kenma felt only nerves. He loved Kuroo, in an awkward best-friend way. Who wouldn't? He was charming and kind and sweet and generous. He always had been. And Kenma had no doubt in his mind that Kuroo would be nothing but attentive and caring and obnoxious throughout the trip, his biggest, loudest qualities, for a month and a week. Really, Kenma didn't mind that, but.. he worried about pretending to be in a relationship. 

Holding hands? They did that a lot when they were younger, especially when Kuroo was dragging him all over the place with excitement. Would Kuroo put his arm around him? Hug him more or something? It had been a long time since they were more consistently affectionate and while, as long as it was Kuroo and just Kuroo, Kenma wasn't completely uncomfortable with it.. it was still weird. They still shared beds when they stayed over with each other, sometimes cuddled if they ended up falling asleep like that, held hands if one of them was nervous, but.. that wasn't the Overcompensating Affection that Kenma dreaded Kuroo using to try and prove their relationship to his family. 

It had been two weeks, since he'd agreed to do this, and the only thing keeping him from bowing out was the promise of two games and a new DS case. His viewers really liked animal crossing, so Kuroo buying him ACNH for his switch would be excellent, and he wanted to try a playthrough with the newest Final Fantasy game. This would be fine, surely. Things would turn out alright.  
…. Probably.

He finished packing his bags the morning of departure, and managed not to play his game on the walk to the bus stop. On the bus, though, was a different matter. They were supposed to meet at Kuroo's childhood home, so he took the bus as close to their old neighborhood as he could before walking the rest of the way. Of course, it was familiar, so he had no issue finding the nice little home, nestled happily next to Kenma's childhood home.

Kuroo's father had always grown flowers outside, in their yard. They were blooming, now, as they loved to do in the hot summer sun. He didn't seem to care for plots, just scattered wildflower seeds after having Kuroo soften up the dirt for him. Kenma remembered watching them, in the summers growing up, from the window of his room nextdoor. Laughing to himself every time Kuroo complained or made a big goofy scene. Kuroo had been so shy back then.. when all they would do was spend their days playing video games and trying not to be awkward around each other. Volleyball brought him out of that shell. Maybe now he was louder, more extroverted than Kenma had ever imagined him to become, but he was still Kenma's Kuroo. He was glad that never changed. 

Said doofus was now carrying out bags that Kenma could only believe to be his grandmother's, thanks to the ugly floral pattern on the luggage and her tailing him to ensure he handled it with care. Kenma snorted. 

Apparently, that was enough to bring Kuroo's attention to him, and the dumb rooster-head hurried to tuck the bags in an impossibly uglier van before rushing at Kenma for a hug. It made him groan, but he'd always tolerated Kuroo's hugs, so he supposed he couldn't stop now. "You're crushing me, asshole," Kenma complained, soft only in the timid sense, not a fan of being loud or causing a scene. 

"It's good to see you, uh- babe!" Kuroo beamed at him, "let me get those for you~" he sent Kenma a wink and took his bag, leaving his book-bag on his shoulder- probably knowing that it was full of games for the trip. It was more than likely that he'd have to get used to Kuroo calling him babe on the trip, but it felt so.. off. Weird. Not bad or uncomfortable, not something he'd have to tell Kuroo not to do, just.. odd. Usually he was pudding-head or dude or rudeass. It would take a lot of getting used to. 

"Uh, thanks?" He almost followed Kuro, chasing the sanctuary of his presence and ability to social-shield, but was stopped just as soon by Kuro's grandmother, still watching from the driveway. 

"Kenma! Dear, are you.. coming? I ah- I thought Tetsurō was bringing a.. special friend?" She seemed confused, and was clearly trying to be nice, and it made Kenma relax. If only a little. He was still Kenma to them. This would be fine, right? Like Kuroo had said. Hopefully. 

"Actually, I'm ah.. I'm his special friend." Kenma still found it incredibly difficult to say, despite practicing in the mirror that morning. 

Kuroo was by his side quickly, and Kenma has never been so relieved for Kuroo to wrap an arm around his shoulders. "I thought I'd surprise you, baachan! Since I was pretty sure Kenma already has all the approval he needs~" 

Kenma couldn't tell if she was uncomfortable or confused, but whichever it was, she played it off by giving them each a pat on the shoulder and a supportive smile. "Oh! Thats- that's certainly a surprise! I'm happy to see you happy, Tetsurō." 

Kenma smiled, mostly out of discomfort, and waited for Kuroo's grandmother to dismiss herself. She went to get in the car, and Kenma turned into Kuro, tapping on his chest. "I have a feeling you should've picked a more.. female, friend to bring." 

Kuroo snorted, and shook his head. "Come on, who could my family love more than you? You're being silly." He squeezed Kenma's arms, gentle, and offered a genuine, soft smile. "Thank you again for this. You took, like, a world of weight off my shoulders." 

Kenma scoffed, "yeah, I know, I'm a saint. Come on, let's just get in the car okay? Your dad's a hugger." He sighed, and took Kuroo's hand to drag him towards the car he'd seen the dumbass stuff their bags onto. 

The two of them got comfortable in the back seats, Kuroo sitting directly beside Kenma naturally. They had their own road trip tradition. Kenma picks a very interactive game and uses earbuds instead of headphones, and Kuroo folds his legs over Kenma's lap, uses one earbud, and points to choices or options he thinks Kenma should pick in the game every now and then. 

Thankfully, this whole fake-dating thing didn't ruin that for them. After a brief explanation to Kuroo's dad and grandfather why exactly Kenma was coming with them, they settled in for the ride. 

Kuroo's family stayed in a nice hotel every year, Kenma knew that from photos and goofy videos Kuroo sent him each summer, including the dorkiest pictures of him on the beach that Kenma would never regret immediately screen-shotting. But those hadn't prepared him for how nice the busy beach town actually was. There were a lot of touristy people, but the weather was warm and sunny and Kenma could see the beach from the parking lot already. Not that he loved excessive outdoors time, but it would be nice to get to walk everywhere, with everything looking so close and accessible. He could already imagine all the games of volleyball Kuroo would rope him into on the beach. 

Speaking of Kuroo. He'd fallen asleep during the drive, and now he was stuck with his head tucked against Kenma's shoulder. It was undeniably cute, and Kuroo's father found it incredibly amusing, but Kenma was ready to stretch his legs and unpack in a nice room, so- after taking a picture on his phone- he woke Kuroo up with a jab in the side and faint laughter. 

Their room was nicer than Kenma had expected. Queen bed to share, simply decorated walls with pretty pictures of sunsets and palm trees, soft and tastefully picked out sheets and blankets, a desk on one side of the room, TV on another wall, and one wall with big windows, curtains drawn back to show off the view. 

"Pretty nice, right? Happy you came?" Kuroo chuckled, walking over to the windows to open one, breathing in the humid, salty air with content. "Beaches have volleyball nets~ you gonna help me kick some ass out there?" 

Called it. Was Kenma's first thought. He couldn't stop himself from smiling, fond. "Fine. If you help me set up my streaming stuff for tonight." 

He smiled again, listening to Kuroo try and guess his laptop password while he unpacked both their bags. If he didn't do it, he knew Kuroo wouldn't, and their room would end up messy in no time. So he tried to organize the closet best he could. Kuroo's things on one side, his on the other, their mostly empty bags on the ground and shower bags in the attached bathroom. 

"Kenma," Kuroo whined, flopping backwards onto their bed in what was, apparently, defeat. "Why am I not in your password? I thought you loved me!" 

"You sound like Bokuto when he gets blocked, doofus." 

"Good! He's not the only one allowed to be emo," Kuroo dramatically sighed, and then sighed even louder when Kenma didn't respond. 

"I think you'll survive, Kuro." Kenma shook his head, and went to properly set up his laptop for now, make sure the wifi signal was strong and his VPN was on. He could get everything else set up later. His travelling streaming supplies weren't as high quality as his set up at home, but he didn't think his viewers would mind. He could just explain he was travelling, and needed a simpler set up. 

"Kenmaaa," Kuroo called again, pouting from where he watched the boy from their bed. "Will you still play volleyball with me?" 

"Whatever you want, Kuro." Kenma shook his head in amusement, shutting his laptop. Kuroo hadn't even helped set up, but Kenma kind of wanted to play. Playing with casual players made Kuroo so happy, so proud of himself. Proud of Kenma. So he didn't really mind. Kenma didn't love attention, but Kuroo's attention and praise had always been something he thrived under. Even if he didn't show it. 

Kenma changed into his volleyball shorts, and a t-shirt Kuroo had left at his place a while ago, he was pretty sure it had been freshman year. It had been big on him back then, but now it was almost a good fit. If he wasn't so thin. He wished sometimes that he could build muscle as easily and obviously as Kuroo. You could see all that dumb strength, in every move, every release and contraction of muscle, every time he wore one of those tight workout shirts Kenma hated. The ones that showed off his stupid arms so well, with no sleeves, and fit just tight enough to show the swell if his chest and clear tone of his back. Awful. The same stupid kind of shirt that Kuroo came out of their bathroom wearing. 

"Ready to go, koibito?" Kuroo gave him a shit-eating grin, so Kenma smacked him in his dumbass bicep and told him very affectionately to shut up and bring his volleyball with him. 

The beach was hot, but the breeze was forgiving, though that did little to make Kenma feel better when Kuroo swiped his game from his hands and tucked it safely away in his old Nekoma windbreaker and set it beside one of the net posts of the first volleyball court they'd found. It was just a net put up in the sand, not very official or regulated, but this was more to appreciate the fun of sport more than to focus on rules, he guessed. It made him kind of glad. He'd learned, eventually, just how fun volleyball was. He was glad Kuroo had gotten him into it. Even if he was still going to pout at Kuroo taking his game.

"Come on, Kenma! Toss to me! How long has it been since you practiced, huh?" 

"Last week. Hinata had me toss to him for a few late night practices." 

Kuroo took that as his turn to pout, "without me? Wow, you keep breaking my heart, over and over again!" 

That made Kenma actually snort, so he took the ball from Kuroo without another complaint, and took up setting position at the net. "Do you remember the signals, old ass?" 

Kuroo was only a year older than him, but teasing him was always worth it. Especially when, after correctly reading the sign Kenma made behind his back, Kuro spiked the ball with extra force onto the other side of the net. 

"I should've brought Tsukki, this is no fun without blockers," Kuroo glanced at Kenma, and flashed him a grin. "Well, maybe not no fun~" 

"Three o'clock," Kenma replied, without looking away from Kuroo's gaze. "Our other team. Bet you could convince them to play. They look like they'd love to impress those girls with them, that are frankly way, way out of their league. Miss this next toss and be loud about it." 

Kuroo, with all the trust in the world, purposefully missed Kenma's next toss to him, and made a point of being extra frustrated with it. Kenma was his good luck charm, after all. 

Kenma smiled slightly at Kuroo when the two guys made their way over, smug about his truck working and delighted at the thought of how happy Kuroo would be with him. 

Of course, they kicked the two strangers' asses, but Kenma was far less excited when the girls that those dumbasses had been trying to impress were now all over Kuroo. 

He got it. Kuroo had always gotten the attention of girls- he was their ace. Had been. He was still Kenma's ace. But something deep in his chest was itching with irritation when he saw those girls hovering around Kuroo like that. Praising him, offering him water bottles, twirling their stupid hair. Ugh. Had it always bothered him so much? He was pretty sure. Even if it was particularly amplified now. 

Kuroo was glowing under their attentions, though, so Kenma did nothing. Just crossed his arms and leaned into one of the poles of the net, let the breeze sweep at his hair, watched Kuroo grin and talk about volleyball with his very familiar face of excitement. 

When Kuroo called for him, Kenma walked to his side, silent while Kuro introduced him with pride as "Kenma, my ace!" 

Kenma only reacted by looking away, shy, and lightly elbowing Kuroo in the ribs. He hated when Kuroo said that. It was so.. genuine, and sweet, Kenma didn't know how to deal with it. 

Apparently Kuro was in a touchy mood, because he wrapped his arms around Kenma's shoulders and leaned his head into him. Gross. "Awh, c'mon Kenma, don't be shy~" 

"You're an idiot." He replied, cheeks warm, eyes fixed on the waves only a few yards away. 

Being up close now, he could tell one of the girls in particular were interested in Kuroo. Gross. Kenma would rather toss for Kuroo well through the night than listen to her annoying voice ask Kuroo what his stupid sign was. But Kuroo was a friendly person, so obviously he happily talked with her until her dumb friend told her they should be getting back to their place before it got dark. It wasn't like he was jealous, though, right? He got Kuroo's attention all the time. He just thought the girl wasn't very good for Kuroo, was all. 

"You're jealous~ I knew you'd fall in love with me if we pretended to date, but I didn't expect it to be so soon!" Kuro gave Kenma a shit-eating grin, and Kenma shoved his face away with a roll of his eyes. 

"Whatever, dumbass. I'm not jealous. I just don't know why you let her chat you up, did you get her number or something?" Kenma didn't know why it made him so angry to think about. "She's not even your type! She had short hair." 

"Just admit it, Kenma, you've fallen desperately in love with me~" Kuroo picked up the volleyball they'd been playing with, and tucked it under his arm, before offering Kenma his game back. 

"Shut up, asshole." Kenma took his game back with one hand, and flipped Kuroo off with the other. Kuroo only smiled. 

Walking back to the hotel was quiet, surprisingly so. Kuroo usually talked a lot, and it worried Kenma that he'd gone quiet. Quiet Kuroo was a memory, now. Just a little kid that used to follow Kenma around and drag him to volleyball games. Kuroo had become so extroverted, loud even. But when Kenma saw his expression, he was put at ease. He forgot how much Kuroo genuinely loved the beach. Seeing that usual smirk all soft and smiley, those Bright eyes turned warm and molten by the sunset.. Kuroo looked happy, and it made Kenma happy too. 

He took Kuroo's hand, lacing their fingers together like they used to do when they were kids. Things had been simpler then. He was very happy having Hinata as a friend, and to have done all the things that he had, but sometimes.. he wished he could go back to then. When it was just him and Kuroo against everyone else. When Kuroo would follow him around all moony and dumb and sweet, when he'd excitedly blabber on about a book he read or cartoon he watched, or a volleyball tournament on TV. It was easy to miss those times. They were some of his fondest memories. 

"You look distracted." Kuroo had set that molten gaze on him while Kenma was buried in his thoughts. Geez.

"I'm just thinking." Kenma replied, looking ahead again to avoid all the cheesy care in Kuroo's face. 

"About how you're in love with me?" He refused to look at Kuroo again, but Kenma was willing to bet that shit-eating smirk was back in its rightful place. 

"You ruined it." Kenma tugged his hand away from Kuroo's, chuckling at him briefly and initiating a silent race the rest of the way to the hotel. 

After another quick shower, Kenma tied his hair back and snatched one of Kuroo's shirts, since family dinner was supposed to be casual. This fake boyfriend thing was an excellent excuse to steal his best friend's comfortable clothes. Maybe he should go for the Nekoma hoodie next. He knew Kuroo always took that hoodie around with him, wherever he went. Kuroo cherished their highschool team as much as Kenma (very secretly) had. More, even. So he was sure it'd be somewhere around their room.

Before he could search for it though, Kuroo exited the attached bathroom in a similar outfit of jeans and a t-shirt, rolling his eyes at Kenma. "You know if you keep stealing my clothes, eventually there's not going to be any more to steal." 

"I give them back! In time." 

Kenma tried to pull an innocent expression, while Kuroo laughed and turned to style his hair instead of arguing. 

Dinner with Kuroo's family was pretty quiet, mostly full of Kuroo cracking dumb jokes while they sat out on the deck of a popular restaurant by the beach, enjoying the breeze and bottomless appetizers. The only complication came when Kuroo's father requested pictures. 

Really, Kenma wanted to applaud him. He wasn't out to his parents, and wasn't sure he ever would be, but Kuroo's father supporting him felt kind of like he was supporting Kenma, too, so when he first told them they should kiss for a picture, Kenma laughed it off with a tiny smile. 

Kuroo turned his head with an easy grin, and took Kenma's chin in his hand, and Kenma instantly fell into a bone-deep panic. 

He knew he'd have to kiss Kuro eventually, but he figured it would just be on the cheek or something because it would just be around his family. He didn't realize.. and it was immediately too much. Overwhelming and fast and caught him so off guard that he could only shove Kuro away, running on pure instinct. 

"I- ow, Kenma!" 

He could apologize later. Right now, all his instincts said we're to get the hell out of there. He couldn't do it. Not for a camera, not just casually, not like kisses weren't a big deal. They were, for him! A lot of things under the category of affection were. 

He ended up locking himself in a bathroom stall. Not his proudest moment, for sure, but definitely not his lowest. At least there was that. 

He wasn't sure how long he stood there, forehead pressed to the likely disgusting stall divider, before there was a firm knock on the door. "Kenma?" 

Right, Kuroo. 

"Kenma, come on, open the door." 

But Kuroo didn't sound like his usual happy-go-lucky self, so Kenma was reluctant. He ended up doing it anyway, though, because when Kuroo got mad.. it was a hellstorm, and Kenma didn't want to worsen the inevitable. 

Kuroo locked the stall door behind him, leaning his shoulders back into the wall opposite Kenma, watching him like an angry parent that had just caught their child sneaking out late. "What was that? What happened out there, dude?" 

Kenma sighed, letting his hair pool in his face. "I'm sorry I pushed you." He sighed, fiddling with his fingers, a habit he picked up from endless training time with Akaashi, watching their aces be chaotic and stupid. "I didn't want to kiss you." 

Kuroo snorted, "clearly. Dude, I'd never fucking make you do shit you don't want to do, but why the hell would you agree to this if you weren't good with that?" 

Kenma huffed, "I didn't think I'd have to kiss you on the lips! I thought that was the reason you asked me! Because I don't do a lot of affectionate shit and it wouldn't be weird to not do that!" 

"I think it's weirder that you ran away." Kuroo sighed, so frustrated that Kenma felt berated just from the sound. 

"I just- you scared me, I don't know!" 

"Why is it such a big deal, dude? Why did it upset you so much? Is it because it's me? We do affectionate sweet shit all the time! Why is it such a big deal?! I don't-" 

"Because I've never fucking kissed anyone before, Tetsu!" Kenma replied, loud, upset and overwhelmed and desperate for Kuroo to understand. 

Kuroo was quiet, then, but Kenma kept staring at his shoes until he responded. 

"You don't call me by my first name very often." He sounded calmer, maybe more worried now. It gave Kenma a chance to regain his breath. 

"You prefer Kuro. Even if it's hardly a nickname. You told me that, in middle school." 

Kuroo reached out for Kenma, drawing him in for a hug. "I should've known. You've never dated someone. But I figured you wouldn't think a first kiss was something to talk to me about either way. I thought you'd had it and just left it because you're too shy to talk about that kind of thing." 

Kenma shrugged, letting himself sink into the hug and turning his head to press his cheek into Kuroo's chest. "You've always told me about yours. At least the first, and the first for each relationship. It's always been a big deal to you. I figured it would be a big deal for me too." 

Kuroo nodded, hugging Kenma a while longer until they apologized again to each other. When they returned to the dinner table, Kuroo excused them, and Kenma apologized shyly before following Kuroo, taking his hand again while Kuroo left him out to the street, in the direction of the beach. 

"Where are we going?" 

"It's a surprise." 

Kenma fell quiet, trying to read Kuroo's emotions right now. He didn't seem mad anymore, which was good, he just seemed.. upset, maybe? Concerned? Kenma wasn't sure how to read it. 

They stopped at the entrance to the beach. Kuroo took off his shoes, so Kenma did too, arms crossing naturally while he followed Kuroo along the shore. When he stopped, Kenma stopped behind them. 

"Alright. This is my favorite spot here, so you gotta keep your trap shut about it, okay? I love coming here, especially when I need to get away from family on these trips. Just be careful and don't get hurt, it's a bit difficult to get to." 

Kenma nodded, wide-eyed at the prospect of something so special that Kuroo would be so careful to show even him. The path included very carefully climbing over a rock breakwater, which Kenma certainly did not enjoy, but after another five minutes of walking and another stupid breakwater, he realised what Kuroo had meant. 

It was the mouth of a canal, peaceful and smooth and beautiful in how it reflected the red sunset. There was a broken swing-chair, the wooden post still up but chains rusted and broken, leaving the wooden chair in the sand. Suspiciously unburied, if still quite sandy. 

Kuroo dusted it off, and reached out an arm for Kenma to join him, which he did gladly. He tucked himself into Kuroo's side, knees drawn up to his chest. "You aren't mad, right?" 

Kuroo leaned his head into Kenma's, "I'm not mad. I was frustrated, but I'm not anymore. I get it. You didn't want your first kiss to be like that, you wanted it to be special. I didn't think twice about it honestly, I didn't peg you as the type to care about that sort of thing." 

"It's fine, Kuro." He replied, taking Kuroo's hand because it felt natural right now. The energy between them was weird, charged, but not in the negative way it sometimes was after arguments. It would be comfortable if it wasn't so strange. 

"I'll kiss you." 

It was sudden, and Kenma was shocked for a moment, not sure how he was even meant to respond. "I- I told you, I haven't-" 

"I know. I'll be your first kiss. So you can get it over, so maybe if we have to kiss another time it'll be easy, so you don't have to keep worrying about it." Kuroo glanced to Kenma, smile warm and expression so gentle. "You didn't want it to be meaningless or just for my dad's camera, right? It's just us now. No one's around.. no cameras, no pressure, no obligation. So if you want to, I thought this would be a special place." 

Kenma probably could have cried, if he was a more emotional person. It was incredibly sweet, for Kuro to want to.. take care of him, like this. Go out of his way to make Kenma comfortable and help him with something that was weighing so much on him right now. He shouldn't be surprised, though. He was pretty sure Kuroo would do anything for him, if he asked nicely.

"Alright, then. Let's uh- let's do it. Let's kiss. I mean, yeah. Okay." He was still clearly nervous, despite how touched he was by the offer. The scenery was beautiful and Kuroo cared for him, obviously- of course it would be Kuroo. That made sense, right? Kuroo was his best friend. It wasn't a big deal, to share this. If anything, this was how it was just meant to be. Definitely much better than some stranger. Kuroo would take care of him and make sure he was comfortable and happy and sure. Because that's what Kuroo did. 

"I can't do this if you look like I'm assaulting you, Kenma." Kuroo chuckled softly, placing a hand on his best friend's cheek. "It's okay. Breathe. You don't have to, you know that. But if you're sure you want this, just tell me when you're ready." 

Kenma let out a sigh, a breath he didn't realize he'd been holding on to. He was allowed to be scared, right? Not of Kuroo, never if Kuroo, but of.. kissing. Physical intimacy was.. terrifying. Though he supposed that was just another reason why Kuroo was an excellent candidate for this. 

"Okay." He nodded slowly, willing himself to relax and curling his hands into the sides of Kuroo's shirt. "I'm ready." 

So Kuro gave him a big, stupid grin, and met him for a kiss. Innocent, small, just a simple press of lips. Nothing fancy, nothing too scary. 

When Kuroo pulled back shortly after, he studied Kenma's face, chuckling to himself. "Everything you'd thought it would be?" 

Kenma looked a little starstruck, face red and hand covering his mouth. He wasn't sure. Obviously, it was amazing- Kuroo, with all his experience, had taken the lead. But it wasn't some sort of magical change, he didn't feel any different.. he'd definitely be critiquing coming-of-age movies a little harsher. 

"You're a good kisser." He mumbled, sinking into the sand and stretching his legs out, head leaning into the side of Kuroo's arm. "I have a feeling I'm not as good as I assumed I would be?" 

"Mm, yeah, you're pretty bad." Kuroo replied, and laughed when Kenma elbowed him in the ribs. "Rude! It's true! But that's okay, you'll get better eventually. You just need practice~" 

"Don't flirt with me, asshole," Kenma scrunched up his nose and stuck out his tongue, only to be caught off guard by Kuroo sweeping a hand under his ear to tickle his neck, the way he used to do when they were kids and tickle-fights weren't some weird, creepy euphemism. "You're cheating!" 

They ended up laughing at each other like that for a while, until it was properly dark out and all they could see was the moon and how it lit up the sky, reflected off the waves, all those little stars.. Kenma was pretty sure he could see the lights from ships in the distance, too. 

"Hey.. Kuro?"  
"Hm?" 

Kuroo had his eyes closed, sprawled out in the sand just close enough for Kenma to reach over and take his hand again. "I think I'm gay." 

Kuroo was silent for only a moment, before he replied, "Think?" 

"I know I'm gay." 

His best friend hummed, and squeezed his hand reassuringly, and Kenma's nerves quelled.  
"I kind of figured. Not to say you did a bad job of hiding it or anything, I just know you pretty well~ you know it's okay, right?" 

Kenma nodded, even if Kuroo couldn't see him. "Yeah. I figured, cause you're bi-" 

"No, Kenma, even if I was straight. It'd be okay. It's part of who you are, and you're my best friend. I don't care about that stuff, I just want you to be happy." 

"Disgusting." Kenma blushed, shaking his head. "You know I hate when you say nice things like that. How do I even respond?" 

Kuroo laughed, "You say thank you, dumbass, and come hug me." He sat up, releasing Kenma's hand to make grabby hands for him, "come on, you know you want to~" 

"Pass." Kenma rolled over, and got himself up. He stretched, and started walking back in the direction they came. "We should get back, come on, it's really getting late now." 

When they got back to the hotel, they talked with Kuroo's family a while about how nice the beach had been on their 'walk' and Kenma tried to make up the denial earlier by laying his head on Kuroo's shoulder in front of them, even if that made it feel weird and forced to him. It was, wasn't it? This was a fake relationship, after all. 

Retiring to their room was something Kenma did gladly, sinking into bed and haphazardly kicking his shoes off, onto the floor. 

"Now who's the messy one?" Kuroo teased, following his example and doing just the same on the other side of the bed. "Hey, Kenma?" 

Kenma forced his eyes open to look at Kuroo, glaring at his shy blush and stupid smile. "Yeah, yeah, fine, whatever. Only because you did me a favor today. You remain fully clothed, I don't care what you usually sleep in." 

Kuroo grinned with mischief as he scooted over to Kenma and slipped his arms around him, laughing when Kenma mumbled a few more profanities at him. "Thank you, babe~" 

"I hate that. Don't say it again." 

The next two weeks went by easy. Kenma was still anxious about kissing and heavy affection, but Kuroo's family didn't ask it of him again, only laughing or teasing when Kuroo kissed Kenma's cheeks or they held hands casually. The first day had been overwhelming for Kenma, but now.. he felt like he was getting the hang of it.  
And he didn't hate it.

He'd always been comfortable around Kuroo- it was just how they were. But he hadn't expected to enjoy this. Hadn't expected to fall into a content routine every night and fall asleep in various cuddling positions. Hadn't expected to be the one to reach for Kuroo's hand at breakfast, even when the others were silently watching. Hadn't expected to tolerate it, when Kuroo got overly affectionate or needy. 

What he didn't understand most, though, was the feelings each part of their trick nestled into his chest. 

Though he supposed this one, he was quite familiar with; jealousy. 

Kuroo had dragged him out to the beach for some more volleyball, eager to practice his speed in the sand. They were practicing tempos, working their way faster. But of course, one of the girls from their first day had to approach them and draw Kuroo into a chipper conversation. Stupid. 

Kenma stood silently at Kuroo's side, quite clearly disinterested and focusing on anything else. Anything that wasn't her annoying laugh or stupid long hair. Kenma was sure his hair was better. Her hair was stupid and Kuroo saw that, surely. 

"What do you think, Kenma?" Kuroo's arm swung around his shoulder, and Kenma was brought back to reality. Ugh, stupid girl was still there. 

Kenma wanted to say no. He had no idea what he'd been asked, but he saw Kuroo's interested expression, and stupid girl looking so hopeful.. he wanted to say no so she'd give up on whatever she'd suggested and slip into a coma instead. Ugh. 

"No thanks," he crossed his arms, avoiding her face and looking to the side instead. 

"Aw, come on Kenmaaa, it's a party! It'll be fun!" Kuroo gave Kenma's arm a light punch, and the blonde shot a glare back in return. "We're totally gonna come. Right Kenma?" 

Kenma huffed, squeezing his hands in little fists before letting out a long, slow sigh. "Right. Sure." It took a lot to get him angry, to make him lose his cool. He wasn't there yet. One dumb party with one dumb person with a dumb crush on Kuroo wouldn't set him off. He wouldn't let it. 

When the girl left, looking pleased and a little nervous, Kuroo slung his arm around Kenma's shoulders. "That was a little mean, you know. Do you really not want to go? She's so nice, and it seems like a good time, huh?" 

Kenma rolled his eyes, shifting so Kuroo's arm fell from his shoulders, "Oh, yeah, I bet you think so." 

"Oh, what's that? Is that you saying you're, what? Jealous? Is it jealousy I hear?" Kuroo's grin was evil, so Kenma elbowed him in the chest. 

"I'm not jealous, dumbass. I just don't enjoy shit like that, you know that." He flipped Kuroo off with a soft sigh, but generously restrained his temper when Kuroo snickered. Sometimes he forgot how much of an asshole Kuroo could be, even if he was usually so different with Kenma. 

"Are you implying you wanna go out with her?" He asked, snatching up his game before Kuroo could take it from their little pile of things in the sand. "I mean, as your fake boyfriend, I'm a little offended." 

Kuro snickered, "and as my best friend, you should applaud me. Right? Besides, she's totally my type~" 

Kenma pretended to gag, and the conversation was over. 

Kenma was used to Kuroo dragging him around to things. As much as Kenma liked to play himself off like a cool guy, one of those guys who might stand in the corner to judge people or make cold, snarky conversation with strangers, he always ended up following Kuroo around like a lost puppy. He was just a simple introvert, he couldn't survive at one of these things on his own. He thought Kuroo understood that. 

His extrovert had gone missing. He'd sent Kenma to get them drinks, and when Kenma returned to the spot he'd last seen Kuroo.. the guy was missing. Kenma couldn't find him anywhere. So he texted him, obviously, pressing the backs of his shoulders into the nearest wall. 

Where'd you go? Can't see you anywhere. It's too loud to shout. 

And that it certainly was. The house, an empty rental, probably, was swarming with people, music pouring annoyingly from every damn crevice of the place. Kenma liked music, but.. not like this. It was overwhelming and he planned on asking Kuroo for the third time that night if they could just leave already. As soon as he found him. 

He made his way upstairs, inevitably, chest feeling tight and uneasy. It was win and lose, up here. Win; find Kuroo, drag him back to the hotel, make him buy dinner. Con; if Kuro was up here, he was engaged in at least one disgusting act that Kenma really, really didn't want or need to see right now. Of course Kuroo would drag him to a party and then force I'm to stay repeatedly before abandoning him for a pretty girl with stupid long hair. Ugh. 

He wasn't sure why he felt like this. 

Maybe it was the memory of them kissing, just a few weeks ago, Kenma's first kiss. It was special, to him, maybe that's why he felt so gross about Kuroo being.. gross, with someone else. Plus.. pretending to be a couple.. it's not like Kenma was unaffected. He'd probably just been given so much affection lately that it was just weird for him now. It wasn't a big deal. Kuroo was his best friend, even when he was being frustrating. Kenma just had to shake the feeling off. 

Will you answer, dumbass?? Hello?? If you got kidnapped or something, gonna need you to stop, can't deal with that right now.

Kenma still felt relief wash over him, though, when he finished searching through all the upstairs bedrooms without finding Kuroo. Plenty of others, sure, but not Kuroo. 

He was starting to get more anxious, though, that this may be a bit of a serious situation. If he hadn't snuck away.. what happened? Was he hurt? Did he get in another stupid pissing-contest that Kenma needed to drag him out of? Did he pass out? What if he- 

And then Kenma walked by a hall closet. 

"You're disgusting." Kenma glared, watching Kuroo tumble out of the closet when he yanked the door open. He was shirtless, and so was the girl he'd been inside with, who seemed so embarrassed her annoying head might explode. Kenma looked away from her until she'd pulled her shirt back on, cold glare boring into Kuroo's head.

"We got carried away! Sorry about that, Kenma." Kuroo gave him that big, charming grin, and Kenma rolled his eyes. 

"I want to leave. If you're not outside in five minutes, I'm going without you. Put a shirt on." He ignored Kuroo's protests, turning to march back downstairs. 

Kenma didn't get angry easily. It was part of his passive nature. He'd never had a short temper, never cared about many things enough to get upset like that. But sitting on the steps outside a stranger's house, dumping his drink in the bushes, headache pounding in time with stupid, annoying music, chest tight, he felt it bubbling. 

Kuroo was an idiot. That wasn't a surprise. Why was he so angry? What had he expected? Kuroo wanted to come to this party to be around her, right? He'd dragged Kenma along for.. who knew why? It was a bitter reminder that Kuroo wasn't as sweet to everyone as he usually was when it was just them. Kenma didn't like being treated like other people. He wasn't some other person. 

When Kuroo sat beside him on the steps, Kenma yanked his hand away when he tried to hold it. "Gross. Your hands were just various places that I'm sure I don't want to be contaminated by." 

Kuroo chuckled, leaning into Kenma's side instead. "Come on, don't be mad! I'm sorry I disappeared, did I worry you?" 

"Of course you fucking did!" Kenma stood up, fists tight at his sides. Kenma didn't do this. He didn't lose his cool, didn't shout, didn't get all red faced and emotional and definitely didn't attract attention like he was right now. 

Kuroo was silent, for just a moment, voice softening. "Hey, I'm sorry, I should've given you a heads up. I won't-" 

"You shouldn't have done it at all, dick head!" It wasn't fair. Kenma had known Kuroo for years. They'd been best friends since childhood. They knew everything about each other, told each other everything. Kenma didn't get mad, not at Kuroo. Not like this. But it was. It was unfair. Watching his best friend kiss someone. Watching him talk them up all night, watching him flirt and laugh and joke and be all disgustingly charming. It felt gross, and awful. The same guy he'd given so far his first three kisses. He didn't understand.. why. He'd always hated it, when Kuro would be all charming and flirty or even date people. But this just felt.. elevated. 

"I'm sorry, Kenma," Kuroo stood to comfort him, placing a hand between Kenma's shoulder blades to lead him into a firm, enveloping hug. Kenma clung to him, making angry fists in his shirt and informing him with frustrated sniffles how pissed off he was. 

Kuroo didn't go into the room with him, when they got back up in the hotel, but Kenma was too drained to complain. He just quietly locked the room door behind him, since Kuroo had the key, and started to pull off his dirty clothes. He hadn't noticed he'd spilled beer on his pants, and his shirt was soaked through with the smell of second-hand smoke. When he changed, after the quickest shower of his life, it was into that stupid hoodie Kuroo always brought around with him, and an old pair of shorts he's brought to swim in since he didn't really care to buy swimshorts. 

He didn't realize he'd started to fall asleep until Kuroo came into the room. He was curled up on the bed on his side, like a cat. On top of the blankets, arms folded, head half buried in the soft pillows. 

"Hey, sleepyhead." Kuroo ruffled his hand through Kenma's hair, getting an eye roll in return. 

"Hey, douchebag. Thought you'd left without saying anything again. Did you go back to the party to finish?" Okay, yes, he was being an asshole right now but Kenma also felt like Kuroo deserved it. 

"Mm, sorry to disappoint." He settled into bed behind Kenma, setting a small apple pie from the nearest fast food chain in front of Kenma's face before wrapping an arm around his waist. "I'm sorry I did that. I know you don't like those situations already. I promise I didn't have that intention when I made you come with. I thought I'd actually try and get you to have fun with me." 

"Shouldn't have spent all night talking to someone else, then." Kenma whispered back, slowly unfolding his arms to unbox the pastry he'd been given. An excellent move on Kuroo's part, he had to admit. 

"I know. I didn't.. think about it, I guess, but it was really unfair. Especially when I made you come here to pretend to be my boyfriend." Kuro pressed his face between Kenma's shoulder blades, and Kenma could tell that he really was sorry. But he still just couldn't shake that feeling. 

Maybe he was a little more angry than he'd thought. Maybe he wasn't just angry because Kuroo had gone to do whatever he planned to do with someone while Kenma was there.

Maybe he was angry because Kuroo did it with someone else. 

The morning after was quiet and lazy. Kenma taught Kuroo how to play one of the video games he'd brought for streaming and spent the afternoon showing off a little thanks to convincing Kuroo to be his player two while he streamed. He didn't like to brag, but every time he won, Kuro would gently pat his back and it was so encouraging it even got Kenma to nearly smile. Nearly. He didn't really want something so personal on camera. 

Once he'd turned his camera off and said goodbye to his fans, he and Kuroo went to Kuroo's father's room, for a small family dinner of takeout. 

It was nice. Kenma was obviously most comfortable around Kuroo, but over the past few weeks he'd gotten a little more comfortable around his family too. It was kind of nice, talking a little with them, hearing a few stories about Kuroo growing up that he'd missed before. 

"I'm glad that you two have finally, you know.. gone public, I guess?" Kuroo's dad chuckled, "I had my suspicions, honestly, for a long time. The way Kuroo talks about you, the way you look at each other.. Especially in the past few years." 

Kenma choked on the water he was sipping, face warming up quickly. "Wh- I um, yeah it's- it's cool I guess." He cleared his throat, eyes going to Kuroo in search of answers. That really couldn't be true because they hadn't even started to pretend to be all in love and gross until this trip, and even then Kenma was pretty sure they'd hardly even changed their demeanor. 

Kuroo's face was red, but he seemed to otherwise brush it off with a smile. "I guess it ah.. took us a while, huh?" 

Kenma shied away a bit when Kuroo's arm wrapped around his shoulders, but once he was sure the conversation was over he eased into Kuroo more comfortably. Years? Maybe Kuroo's dad just caught on to Kenma's unreciprocated attachment. 

They were silent after dinner, when they returned to their room, facing away from each other while they changed on opposite sides of the bed. It felt.. heavy. Awkward. 

"Kuroo." Kenma spoke first, a rarity in these situations especially. "Do you think you're going to, like, start.. talking to that girl? Talking to her, you know.. like in a date-y way?" He furrowed his eyebrows, pausing to pull on his shirt, "I don't like her." 

"What don't you like about her?" Kuro didn't sound upset, at least, which Kenma appreciated. Since his outburst after that party a few weeks ago, Kenma had been avoiding even thinking about it. It still made him feel angry. Upset. Opened up that little pit in his stomach and ache in his chest. 

"You're dodging the question." Kenma laid on their bed to find Kuroo was already laying down too, wearing a stupid expression that Kenma wanted to smack away. 

"I don't think I am, no. I'm not interested in her like that. I was just.. drunk. I thought it was a better idea than it really was. Plus.. you don't like her. So it probably wouldn't work out." Kuroo chuckled, shrugging his shoulders. 

Kenma frowned, "As if that's stopped you before. It's not like I liked any of your previous girlfriends. They're all the same." 

"Are they?" 

"Yes," Kenma's brows furrowed, and he puffed his cheeks a bit, "they're.. materialistic. Only like you cause you're hot or whatever. Clearly have no interest in a genuine relationship. Even you deserve better than that. But your type seems to be the first long-haired person that fawns over you." 

"You think I'm hot?" Kuroo was instantly wearing a shit-eating grin, and Kenma rolled his eyes. 

"Shut up. Objectively." 

"Well," Kuroo poked at Kenma's side, jabbing him with a finger, "Sounds to me like someone's jealous." 

"Of what? Being with you? Over my dead body." Kenma rolled his eyes, shaking his head to rid himself of the temptation. He did not want to date his best friend. It was just his attachment to the guy that made Kenma feel a little emotionally dependant.

"If you're human enough to die," Kuroo teased, "and if you haven't fallen in love with me by then~" 

That, at least, made Kenma snort. "Shut up, you are so stupid," he pushed Kuroo's arm, and kicked at his nearest leg, chuckling faintly until the room fell quiet again. It was quiet a long time, not uncomfortable, but charged with an energy they weren't used to having between them.

"Do you wanna-" 

"Yeah, please." 

They were up and out of bed in no time, Kenma pulling jeans back on and Kuroo trying to figure out how to clip his wallet chain to the band of his sweatpants. 

This was practically muscle memory, despite them not doing it in months now.  
Since middle school started, if they ever had a fight, ever had a bad day, ever needed a severe pick-me-up, they had a routine. 

When they still lived at home, they'd sneak out at night, meeting in front of Kuroo's driveway since Kenma was always out first. From there, they'd walk together, one loop around the neighborhood and then to the run-down ENEOS nearby. Tokyo was a big city, but that old gas station was a dirty, cheap, slow-going haven. 

Kenma would buy the slushies, Kuroo would buy the snacks. Kenma would tease him for using a twizzler as a straw and then stuff away the desire to know if he'd be able to taste it if they kissed then and there. 

Now, they walked a lap around the hotel, and Kuroo led them in the direction of the nearest gas station. 

They got slushies, and sat outside the station in the poor light. Kuroo bit off both ends of a twizzler, and used it as a straw for his coke slushie. Of course he did. 

"Very environmentally conscious of you," Kenma murmured, elbowing Kuroo lightly in the side. They sat on the pavement outside, leaning against the brick of the building. Kenma found himself leaning into it when Kuroo wrapped an arm around his shoulders. 

"I know, I'm a saint." Kuroo grinned, sending Kenma a wink.

"Oh, yeah. Humble too." 

It was quiet for a while. The light outside was dim, and flickered every now and then. The neon signs in the window gave the boys halos of red and blue and green in their hair. It was quiet, save for the sound of the occasional few cars that drove by and whatever music they were playing. The air was warm, humid, sticky, even though the sun had gone down, but the faint breeze brought some relief. 

"Kenma," Kuroo's voice was low, calm, serious. It wasn't often like that, so the tone made Kenma quickly give him his attention. "I think I'm in love with you." 

Kenma hummed, gaze falling from Kuroo's face to the slushie in his lap. "Do you mean that, or are you saying that because we've been acting so much like a couple that you think it's true?" 

Kuroo chuckled, leaning his head on top of Kenma's with a light squeeze around his shoulders. "Do you remember when I started highschool?" 

Kenma turned his face into Kuroo's shoulder, a silent yes. 

"I started school an hour earlier than you, but for the first week I waited outside your house for you so we could walk to school together." Kuroo sighed. "When I moved out, for the first month I would wake up more often than not and think about walking next door to see you, see if you wanted to go somewhere or do anything. You're the first thing I think about when I wake up in the morning and the last thing before I go to sleep. You're my best friend, Kenma, but I love you more than that. More than a friend. I always have." 

"That's a lot." Kenma murmured, bringing his slushie up to sip on. "Why'd you fuck the girl at that party, then?" 

"She has the same haircut as you, dumbass. I have a type." Kuroo sighed, sounding a little shy, "I'm sorry about that, again. I just.. I don't have an excuse. It was a dick move. We don't do that shit to each other, I shouldn't have." 

Kenma hummed softly. He thought he might be able to understand, even if it still upset him. He had a type too, after all. He'd never dated before, but all the guys he'd found even objectively attractive had a few things in common. Muscles, big cocky grins, and black hair. If he had been in any way outgoing or interested enough to do so, he might've found himself tangled up with one of them with the image of his best friend in mind.

"We don't do that shit to each other." Kenma agreed, eyes falling shut as he took another sip of his slushie. "I love you too, you know?" 

Kuroo chuckled, tugging lightly on a strand of Kenma's hair. "You can't just say that." 

"Why not? You did." 

"..okay, check mate." Kuroo shook his head, rolling his eyes. "Do you mean in.. a best friend way? Or a lovers kind of way?" 

"Did you just say 'Lovers'? Are you from last century?" 

"You're dodging the question, asshole." Kuroo cooed affectionately, "don't be mean. I know a snarky bitch is your spirit animal, but I'm trying to have a moment here." 

"Oh, I'm so sorry, Captain, I wouldn't want to ruin the very romantic atmosphere while we sit on the sidewalk in front of a gas station at night, in the dark, that reeks of cigarette smoke and is probably crawling with roaches." Kenma cocked an eyebrow, tilting his chin up to catch Kuroo's gaze with a rather unimpressed expression. "I mean, I love you. In the gross way." 

Kuroo flicked the back of his neck, only to cup the back of his head and bring him in for a kiss. They'd kissed before, about three times now, but this fourth one felt new and so breathtakingly genuine that Kenma wasn't sure he could emotionally stand it. 

"I can taste the twizzler," Kenma murmured, answering the question that had haunted his mind in many of their previous late-night getaways. 

"Sorry?" Kuroo laughed, raising his eyebrows in a mix of surprise, humor, and confusion. 

"Don't worry. Not a deterrent." 

They stood and walked back, snacks stuffed into the pocket of Kuroo's hoodie, mostly-finished slushies in hand while their free hands met in the middle, fingers laced. 

When they got back to the hotel, they changed back into more comfortable sleeping clothes, and settled into bed. Eventually, after giving in to Kuroo's puppy-dog eyes, Kenma found himself spooning Kuro. 

"You're stupid, you know that?" Kenma sighed, pressing his nose into the back of Kuroo's neck and curling up against him like a cold cat. 

"I'm amazing, you should be honored," Kuroo grinned to himself, relaxing into Kenma with a sigh. "So, we leave in three days. You gonna go on a real date with me before then?"

"A real date?" 

"A genuine date. Not for the sake of a fake relationship." 

Kenma nodded, nuzzling into Kuroo's shoulder. "Yeah. Sure." 

Kuroo looked over his shoulder to beam at him. "Good choice, pudding head."


End file.
